Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Eureka Moment #2
I spent the last four days camping in the wilderness in Pennsylvania. It was beautiful. I learned numerous things while on my trip, but one new understanding stands out. Upon arriving at the campground, I was greeted by naked people. Not half naked, or sort of naked, but fully naked people. I was disgusted, startled, angry, and uncomfortable. Having the Judeo-Christian understanding of nudity post-fall of Adam and Eve, I thought these people to be horrendous for deciding to walk around naked. I thought they were removing the sacredness from something that was beautiful and meant to be shared only with their lover. Though I still believe that there is something special about reserving nakedness for the our significant others, I became to see nudity as something else. I began to see it as simple, and natural, and did not connect the normal words of "whores" to the site of flesh. This made me think of how I view women who show a lot of skin, whether it be cleavage at the work place, or all or most of their butts in shorts during the summer. I realized that I would automatically think these women were loose or gross, simply because they liked to show off their bodies. That is because the understanding of physical beauty is usually linked to sexuality. Though some forms of dress may seem trashy, it does not give me enough proof of who someone truly is.
My Comments on Posts for Week #2
From Kristen Marie:
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Becoming Gendered from Birth
This week my Eureka Moment came to me in the 7th chapter of our reading. I could not believe how gendered we really are from babies on up. I always new we wore pink of we were a girl and blue for boy BUT I never though about only being able to play with "girl" toys or not being able to do certain things like get dirty because I am a girl. When I was little my father did so much with me. i went fishing and baited my own line, went bowling, also my dad is a mechanic so I always wanted to pretend I was fixing cars. So maybe I was one of the few children who was allowed to do "boy" things. Really, what was my Eureka Moment was the fact that parents went so over board to make sure their girls were girly and their boys were boyish. Is it really that big of a deal if your son likes dolls at the age of 2 or 3. My brother is going on 5 and when he was about 2 he use to take my purse and walk around with it. i thought my dad and boyfriend were going to pass out!! It was ok when I was little to want to fish and play with cars BUT my brother canNOT touch my purse!! I am interested in if any parents read this what they think since I am not a parent?!?! On I like how you were not brought up in the typical feminine way. As a result you had a lot of great experiences that have created in you a greater understanding of yourself, and gender in its entirety. One reason in which society likes to make certain lists of feminine and masculine things, is to create a greater sense of bond. For example, a mother may want her daughter to wear dresses as to emulate her, and therefore feel closer to her creating a false sense of intimacy between them. Since the mother cannot truly relate to her daughter, she may force her into "feminine" things as to better understand her or identify with her.
Maria's Blog for Gender and Communication said...
I like how you were not brought up in the typical feminine way. As a result you had a lot of great experiences that have created in you a greater understanding of yourself, and gender in its entirety. One reason in which society likes to make certain lists of feminine and masculine things, is to create a greater sense of bond. For example, a mother may want her daughter to wear dresses as to emulate her, and therefore feel closer to her creating a false sense of intimacy between them. Since the mother cannot truly relate to her daughter, she may force her into "feminine" things as to better understand her or identify with her.
From Shaina's Blog:
Eureka # 2
Last night I was watching Jon & Kate + 8 season 5 premiere along with Millions of other men, women, children, entire families, however, I was attempting to watch it from a different perspective, something that most people wouldn't want to look at. All of the scandals involving Jon cheating, Kate cheating, a pending divorce, etc., have left Jon looking like a complete villian. I thought that the show would even the score, making sure to point out that he is home with the kids while Kate is out on her book tours, however, they showed Kate struggling to care for the children alone while Jon "took the weekend off." What I felt the producers only showed Talk of, and no visual examples, is how much Kate is on the road. Whenever they showed Jon, he was distant, tired, slumped over, and often not watching the kids. However, I feel as though it is easy for them to leave huge chunks of time out where he could have looked better, more awake, and maybe they were playing a trick on us? Is it possible that Kate is more at fault for being star struck than they want us to think. There is no doubt that when I start a family I hope I could be somewhat near as organized as her, because a lifestyle like that with so many children seems really hard. However, I feel like Jon taking care of the kids wasnt shown at all and that he does more for the family than they showed. Probably because people like Kate more, but it also makes the stereotypes about men and their lack of parenting skills even more apparent. It is also negative towards women because it shows that Kate's power within their household is too strong and imposing that Jon can not handle it, he feels as though he has lost his "manhood."
Maria's Blog for Gender and Communication said...
I like your understanding of how this show is portraying men! Men are ALWAYS shown as being lazy, stupid, and inadequate when it comes to child rearing, and being a vital part of the family. Shows like The Simpsons, and the King of Queens also like to utilize the stereotype of the stupid alpha male in order to get higher ratings. That is why most commercials for cleaning products are geared to women, because society is buying the concept that only women can take care of their home and family, and men are simply bystanders or are in the way. Extremely common dialogue on nearly all sitcoms involves some type of put down of the opposite sex. It is pretty interesting how television can reinforce and create gender stereotypes!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Becoming Gendered from Birth
This week my Eureka Moment came to me in the 7th chapter of our reading. I could not believe how gendered we really are from babies on up. I always new we wore pink of we were a girl and blue for boy BUT I never though about only being able to play with "girl" toys or not being able to do certain things like get dirty because I am a girl. When I was little my father did so much with me. i went fishing and baited my own line, went bowling, also my dad is a mechanic so I always wanted to pretend I was fixing cars. So maybe I was one of the few children who was allowed to do "boy" things. Really, what was my Eureka Moment was the fact that parents went so over board to make sure their girls were girly and their boys were boyish. Is it really that big of a deal if your son likes dolls at the age of 2 or 3. My brother is going on 5 and when he was about 2 he use to take my purse and walk around with it. i thought my dad and boyfriend were going to pass out!! It was ok when I was little to want to fish and play with cars BUT my brother canNOT touch my purse!! I am interested in if any parents read this what they think since I am not a parent?!?! On I like how you were not brought up in the typical feminine way. As a result you had a lot of great experiences that have created in you a greater understanding of yourself, and gender in its entirety. One reason in which society likes to make certain lists of feminine and masculine things, is to create a greater sense of bond. For example, a mother may want her daughter to wear dresses as to emulate her, and therefore feel closer to her creating a false sense of intimacy between them. Since the mother cannot truly relate to her daughter, she may force her into "feminine" things as to better understand her or identify with her.
Maria's Blog for Gender and Communication said...
I like how you were not brought up in the typical feminine way. As a result you had a lot of great experiences that have created in you a greater understanding of yourself, and gender in its entirety. One reason in which society likes to make certain lists of feminine and masculine things, is to create a greater sense of bond. For example, a mother may want her daughter to wear dresses as to emulate her, and therefore feel closer to her creating a false sense of intimacy between them. Since the mother cannot truly relate to her daughter, she may force her into "feminine" things as to better understand her or identify with her.
From Shaina's Blog:
Eureka # 2
Last night I was watching Jon & Kate + 8 season 5 premiere along with Millions of other men, women, children, entire families, however, I was attempting to watch it from a different perspective, something that most people wouldn't want to look at. All of the scandals involving Jon cheating, Kate cheating, a pending divorce, etc., have left Jon looking like a complete villian. I thought that the show would even the score, making sure to point out that he is home with the kids while Kate is out on her book tours, however, they showed Kate struggling to care for the children alone while Jon "took the weekend off." What I felt the producers only showed Talk of, and no visual examples, is how much Kate is on the road. Whenever they showed Jon, he was distant, tired, slumped over, and often not watching the kids. However, I feel as though it is easy for them to leave huge chunks of time out where he could have looked better, more awake, and maybe they were playing a trick on us? Is it possible that Kate is more at fault for being star struck than they want us to think. There is no doubt that when I start a family I hope I could be somewhat near as organized as her, because a lifestyle like that with so many children seems really hard. However, I feel like Jon taking care of the kids wasnt shown at all and that he does more for the family than they showed. Probably because people like Kate more, but it also makes the stereotypes about men and their lack of parenting skills even more apparent. It is also negative towards women because it shows that Kate's power within their household is too strong and imposing that Jon can not handle it, he feels as though he has lost his "manhood."
Maria's Blog for Gender and Communication said...
I like your understanding of how this show is portraying men! Men are ALWAYS shown as being lazy, stupid, and inadequate when it comes to child rearing, and being a vital part of the family. Shows like The Simpsons, and the King of Queens also like to utilize the stereotype of the stupid alpha male in order to get higher ratings. That is why most commercials for cleaning products are geared to women, because society is buying the concept that only women can take care of their home and family, and men are simply bystanders or are in the way. Extremely common dialogue on nearly all sitcoms involves some type of put down of the opposite sex. It is pretty interesting how television can reinforce and create gender stereotypes!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Classmate's Post and My Commet on Post #1
By: Chris P
So my eurkea moment has to deal with my experience in the corporate world. I am 21 years old and last April I took a job with a company and this was my first real job. My supervisor was a 50+/- year old woman, who looked very professional and pleasant when she hired me. Well once I gotten into the department and got to know my co-workers they had told me how horrible of a supervisor she was. She was very authoritative and liked to have the power to control. She wanted everything done her way and was in everyone's business. to me this moment gave me a realization that when woman are given supervisory positions all the power goes to there heads and they become horrible at the position. After 6 months of being on the job I transferred to a different job in the company where I was now with a 40+/- year old male supervisor. This than gave me the chance to see maybe it's just the way people are in the corporate world. Well I discovered that a male supervisor is a lot more laid back than a woman is. My supervisor now who I have had for about 6 months now has been awesome. As long as I get my work done and do it right he does not cause any problems. He does not take advantage of the power he has and does not care how the job gets done just as long as it is right. Talking to a lot of people in the company I work for it seems more people would rather work for a man rather than a woman. I can still remember sitting in a meeting with a few woman manager and supervisors and they are gossiping about how someone from IT was with this woman from Auto and he is just using her as a beard to cover us that he is gay! These gender roles that the male and females have played in my career at my job have played some sort of impact on my interpretation of how woman are in jobs where they are given power. It's not so much that they abuse it, I think it's more of the fact that they finally have it and they want to show that woman can take on a mans job. Every since I have left her department she is very different towards me too. I think woman take things more personally than men do. For our culture now a days is not unusual to see a woman in these positions, but it's just the way they act that makes me think now that it's easier to work for a man than it is a woman. No wonder why when I started only 2 out of the 13 of us in my department were men!!!
In response to Chris P's comment: I appreciate that you are thinking critically about your supervisors, and trying to learn about gender through your daily experiences. Though not all experiences, nor people, will determine or best represent other people. In your case, the female supervisor perhaps was a bit of a tyrant, because that was her personality. Not because she was female, or because she was trying to prove herself. For example, my mother is a business owner. I have seen her interact with her employees on more than one occasion and she was been encouraging, yet firm, intelligent and articulate, though never abrasive. However, what is interesting is that if she has to call someone on their ill behavior, or if she stands for something that no one else believes in, she is immediately labeled as a, you know what! I digress, there just isn't really a common way that men and women act on the job as character comes more into play rather then sexual identity.
So my eurkea moment has to deal with my experience in the corporate world. I am 21 years old and last April I took a job with a company and this was my first real job. My supervisor was a 50+/- year old woman, who looked very professional and pleasant when she hired me. Well once I gotten into the department and got to know my co-workers they had told me how horrible of a supervisor she was. She was very authoritative and liked to have the power to control. She wanted everything done her way and was in everyone's business. to me this moment gave me a realization that when woman are given supervisory positions all the power goes to there heads and they become horrible at the position. After 6 months of being on the job I transferred to a different job in the company where I was now with a 40+/- year old male supervisor. This than gave me the chance to see maybe it's just the way people are in the corporate world. Well I discovered that a male supervisor is a lot more laid back than a woman is. My supervisor now who I have had for about 6 months now has been awesome. As long as I get my work done and do it right he does not cause any problems. He does not take advantage of the power he has and does not care how the job gets done just as long as it is right. Talking to a lot of people in the company I work for it seems more people would rather work for a man rather than a woman. I can still remember sitting in a meeting with a few woman manager and supervisors and they are gossiping about how someone from IT was with this woman from Auto and he is just using her as a beard to cover us that he is gay! These gender roles that the male and females have played in my career at my job have played some sort of impact on my interpretation of how woman are in jobs where they are given power. It's not so much that they abuse it, I think it's more of the fact that they finally have it and they want to show that woman can take on a mans job. Every since I have left her department she is very different towards me too. I think woman take things more personally than men do. For our culture now a days is not unusual to see a woman in these positions, but it's just the way they act that makes me think now that it's easier to work for a man than it is a woman. No wonder why when I started only 2 out of the 13 of us in my department were men!!!
In response to Chris P's comment: I appreciate that you are thinking critically about your supervisors, and trying to learn about gender through your daily experiences. Though not all experiences, nor people, will determine or best represent other people. In your case, the female supervisor perhaps was a bit of a tyrant, because that was her personality. Not because she was female, or because she was trying to prove herself. For example, my mother is a business owner. I have seen her interact with her employees on more than one occasion and she was been encouraging, yet firm, intelligent and articulate, though never abrasive. However, what is interesting is that if she has to call someone on their ill behavior, or if she stands for something that no one else believes in, she is immediately labeled as a, you know what! I digress, there just isn't really a common way that men and women act on the job as character comes more into play rather then sexual identity.
Eureka Moment #1
I found Chapter 1's explanation of how gender defines communication relevant in a recent conversation I had with a male friend. Being a woman, or perhaps just conscientious, I believe that I should wait until a person is fully done speaking their mind before I speak my opinions. I also hesitate to share my experiences until I fully understand where the other person is coming from, therefore I may ask questions that show the other person that I am interested in what they have to say. I also like to make eye contact. In a recent situation, I was exasperated talking to a male friend of mine. Before I was finished talking, my friend would chime in his opinion over mine, seeming to have not heard what I said. Also, when I would finish my point, he would abruptly nod his head and sit blankly for a few seconds, then proceed to talk about something that did not pertain to the topic I mentioned. Thus ignoring my ideas. I smiled, and tried to listen to him, though my anger was bubbling behind my polite smile. This was frustrating, as Wood describes the "relationship level of meaning" was that he did not value my opinion. Wood includes an example similar to mine in the book on page 34. Though his poor listening may not be correlated to his gender, but more to what is acceptable when it comes to the male gender: men are usually allowed to be more opinionated, and run conversations, while women who do this are usually seen as pushy or obnoxious. Perhaps it does not need to be one or the other but a more egalitarian approach where both opinions are valued, and no one is undermined as being unimportant.
This song depicts how we should talk to each other, in this case how we should talk to women. It is by India Arie, but it is covered by an unknown singer in this video. I've included the link to the video and the lyrics below. Enjoy!
Talk to Her
By India Arie
When you talk to her talk to her
Like you want somebody to talk to you mama
Don't get smart with her have a heart to heart with her
Just like you would with your daughter
Cause everything you do or say
You gotta live with it everyday
She's somebody's baby
She's somebody's sista
She's somebody's mama
Now when you got to her speak truthfully
Be honest as you can be, from your heart
You're in a situation, where ya losing patience
Take some time and look her in the eye
When you just can't find the words you want
And it's hard to reach the point
Where you both can understand
Don't just tell the truth
Tell the whole truth
It'll make a better man outta you
When you talk to her, talk to her
Like you want somebody to talk to your mama
Don't get smart with her have a heart to heart
With her just like you would with your daughter
Cause everything you do or say
You gotta live with it everyday
She's somebody's baby
She's somebody's sista
She's somebody's mama
It doesn't matter if she's wearin
A mini skirt or a business suit
Whether she's 25 or 99
Treat her the way your mama taught you to
She could be the Queen of Sheba
She could be a school teacher
Home maker or a lawyer
I think it's good for your Karma
Life when...
When you talk to her, talk to her
Like you want somebody to talk to your mama
Don't get smart with her have a heart to heart
With her just like you would with your daughter
Cause everything you do or say
You gotta live with it everyday
She's somebody's baby
She's somebody's sista
She's somebody's mama
Now let's keep it real
Nothing in this world could ever exist
Without it's opposite
There has to be a sun and moon
A man and a woman
And that's just the way it is
Humanity's lop sided
And everyone's fightin'
How do we restore the peace
Mother earth is hurtin'
Cause everyone is searchin'
For the feminine energy
When you talk to her talk to her
Like you want somebody else to talk to your mama (Watch your mouth, yeah yeah)
Don't get smart with her have a heart to heart
With her just like you would with your daughter
Cause everything you do or say
You gotta live with it everyday
She's somebody's baby
She's somebody's sista
She's somebody's mama
When you talk to her talk to her
Like you want somebody to talk to your mama
Just like you fight for your sister
If you knew that somebody dissed her
How you gonna care for your daughter
Turn around and talk bad about her mama
Same way you listen to your auntie
Never interupt while she speaks
Make your words sweet like candy
As if you were talking to your granny yeah
If you really loved then (say so)
If you really needed then (say so)
Love the way she thinks (say so)
You love the way she speaks (say so)
When you need some good conversation (say so)
Say so (say so)
If you want her in your life (say so)
You want her to be your wife (say so)
Tell her she's your best friend (say so) (alright)
You'll be there to the end (alright)(say so)
If you're thinking about leaving (say so)
If you wonder where she's going (say so)
If you need to breathe with her (say so)
You just want to be with her (say so)
If you love her hair (say so)
If you wanted her (say so)
Tell me if you really wanted her (say so)
You wanna slap her down (say so)
Say so...
If you feel like loving (say so)
If you wanna feel the hugging (say so)
This song depicts how we should talk to each other, in this case how we should talk to women. It is by India Arie, but it is covered by an unknown singer in this video. I've included the link to the video and the lyrics below. Enjoy!
Talk to Her
By India Arie
When you talk to her talk to her
Like you want somebody to talk to you mama
Don't get smart with her have a heart to heart with her
Just like you would with your daughter
Cause everything you do or say
You gotta live with it everyday
She's somebody's baby
She's somebody's sista
She's somebody's mama
Now when you got to her speak truthfully
Be honest as you can be, from your heart
You're in a situation, where ya losing patience
Take some time and look her in the eye
When you just can't find the words you want
And it's hard to reach the point
Where you both can understand
Don't just tell the truth
Tell the whole truth
It'll make a better man outta you
When you talk to her, talk to her
Like you want somebody to talk to your mama
Don't get smart with her have a heart to heart
With her just like you would with your daughter
Cause everything you do or say
You gotta live with it everyday
She's somebody's baby
She's somebody's sista
She's somebody's mama
It doesn't matter if she's wearin
A mini skirt or a business suit
Whether she's 25 or 99
Treat her the way your mama taught you to
She could be the Queen of Sheba
She could be a school teacher
Home maker or a lawyer
I think it's good for your Karma
Life when...
When you talk to her, talk to her
Like you want somebody to talk to your mama
Don't get smart with her have a heart to heart
With her just like you would with your daughter
Cause everything you do or say
You gotta live with it everyday
She's somebody's baby
She's somebody's sista
She's somebody's mama
Now let's keep it real
Nothing in this world could ever exist
Without it's opposite
There has to be a sun and moon
A man and a woman
And that's just the way it is
Humanity's lop sided
And everyone's fightin'
How do we restore the peace
Mother earth is hurtin'
Cause everyone is searchin'
For the feminine energy
When you talk to her talk to her
Like you want somebody else to talk to your mama (Watch your mouth, yeah yeah)
Don't get smart with her have a heart to heart
With her just like you would with your daughter
Cause everything you do or say
You gotta live with it everyday
She's somebody's baby
She's somebody's sista
She's somebody's mama
When you talk to her talk to her
Like you want somebody to talk to your mama
Just like you fight for your sister
If you knew that somebody dissed her
How you gonna care for your daughter
Turn around and talk bad about her mama
Same way you listen to your auntie
Never interupt while she speaks
Make your words sweet like candy
As if you were talking to your granny yeah
If you really loved then (say so)
If you really needed then (say so)
Love the way she thinks (say so)
You love the way she speaks (say so)
When you need some good conversation (say so)
Say so (say so)
If you want her in your life (say so)
You want her to be your wife (say so)
Tell her she's your best friend (say so) (alright)
You'll be there to the end (alright)(say so)
If you're thinking about leaving (say so)
If you wonder where she's going (say so)
If you need to breathe with her (say so)
You just want to be with her (say so)
If you love her hair (say so)
If you wanted her (say so)
Tell me if you really wanted her (say so)
You wanna slap her down (say so)
Say so...
If you feel like loving (say so)
If you wanna feel the hugging (say so)
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