Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Euerka Moment #4
I have always been conscious of my physical appearance. Something a friend of mine said recently made me think. He said that he only felt strong physical attraction to super models. This made me think on the fact that I have been told since a little girl, it was my job to preserve my beauty in some form, whether it be through taking vitamins, working out, or doing other things in which would assure that my physical beauty would not fade. I have gone through a love and hate relationship with my body. At times I have not been able to stop thinking about it, and other days it is not such a big deal. Still, I find myself recently having ten pounds to drop, even after losing weight over the years. My close male friends do not seem to be obsessed with losing weight, nor do they seem concerned about the shape of their thighs. I feel that it seems to be "feminine" to be insecure about our bodies, and to even bond by putting our bodies down. My friend jen once told me that she loves her body, but in order to fit in with other girls, she tries to find something to criticize. I have also heard girls talk negatively of other girls who were confident in their bodies, as if being confident is having an ego and being pretentious. It seems as though I have a tendency to feel stress in my body and allow it affect how I feel about it, while my close male friends do not seem to become more critical of their bodies when they are going through stressful or emotional trying times. Perhaps this is because men are more conditioned to not cmplain bout their bodies, but pretend that they appreciate them fully. I want to learn how to feel more appreciative of my skin regardless of my weight and how perfect or not perfect it is. As a healthy woman I want to better learn how to identify my happiness not with my apperance, but with the state of my mind and soul. Realistically speaking I will probably feel good once I drop these ten pounds, but in the mean time I will try to replace a negative thought with someothing positive when those negative thoughts come creeping up at me.